Diabetic mental health. That is something new for me to reflect on.
Here goes. I was diagnosed with Type 2 in 2005. I burnt out 4 years ago from my diabetes. I stopped watching my carbs. I stopped testing. I gained about 25-30 lbs. No one in my family was diabetic. Not my parents or their parents. Not my brothers. Not my husband or my kids. Just me. I felt very alone. And I felt very helpless.
Diabetes was starting to affect me in other ways now. I was unhappy. I didn't want to be diabetic anymore. It was unfair. I cried. I bitched. I worried. I didn't like how I looked. I only sporadically took my meds.
It took me about a year to figure out I couldn't continue to ignore it anymore. I knew my numbers sucked. I could see them in black and white. All the while my elderly parents ran into health issues and I had to forget about myself. I didn't have a choice. Oh I acknowledged my diabetes was a mess but the situation with my parents wasn't going to resolve quickly. I was not only worried about me, I was worried about them. I made several attempts to get back on track but to no avail.
The issues with my parents took some time to resolve but I couldn't use that as an excuse anymore. I had to deal with my health. And I am. I did a lot of reading about diabetes burnout. That helped. I got the medical end of things on track. I only have 11 lbs to lose to make my goal weight. I like the way I look. I feel good about me. I'm not denying I have diabetes anymore. I experimented with twitter DOC groups. That didn't go as well as I hoped so I took a break from it. I'll likely go back when I'm ready. I feel empowered again.
Now that I know about diabetes burnout, I will do my best to avoid it.
I'm not alone.
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